When most people think about healing from a toxic or abusive relationship, they focus on the big, visible scars, emotional trauma, broken boundaries, grief, and sometimes fear. But there’s a quieter, often invisible wound that many women carry long after they’ve walked away: the loss of self-trust.

It was about me...  That doesn’t mean I take the blame. Abuse is never the survivor’s fault.

There was a time in my life when I found myself living in a furnace room. No job. No kids. One friend - the owner of the furnace room and I am forever grateful for her kindness. Just me, four concrete walls, and the deafening silence of everything I’d lost—or so I thought. It wasn’t glamorous. It wasn’t even safe, really. But what it was, in hindsight, was the beginning of something bigger than I could ever have imagined.

Have you ever had one of those days where you pause mid-tea sip and think, “What if I just started over?” Not a dramatic burn-it-all-down sort of start over (although that has its flair), but a curious, open-hearted, intentional life redesign — the kind where you get to be the architect, the artist, the dreamer, and the doer.

There’s a place many survivors of abuse know intimately, though it doesn’t always have a name. It comes after the leaving, after the chaos, after the immediate danger has passed. On paper, you’re free. But inside, you feel frozen. Exhausted. Lost. This place is called the void.

In today’s self-help and social media-saturated world, it's never been easier to find a name for every experience, reaction, and wound. Empath. Highly sensitive person. Trauma-bonded. Codependent. Victim of narcissistic abuse. Inner child. Attachment style. Love language. While these labels can offer comfort and clarity, there’s a fine line between using a label to understand yourself—and hiding behind one to avoid healing.

The internet is overflowing with content about narcissism. There are grandiose narcissists, covert ones, malignant, communal, somatic, cerebral—even spiritual and parental narcissists. It seems like every time you scroll, there’s a new subtype to watch out for. Check out my extensive list of narcissism types HERE

As the internet has exploded with resources on narcissism, so too has the list of supposed narcissistic "types." From grandiose and covert to spiritual and parental narcissists, we’re now flooded with labels—each one carrying its own characteristics, red flags, and horror stories.

The journey to healing after an abusive relationship often involves redefining freedom in one’s life. Two distinct but complementary types of freedom, freedom to and freedom from, can help reshape one’s path forward. While "freedom from" focuses on liberation from past limitations, "freedom to" highlights the newly opened doors for personal growth and self-expression. In a post-abuse context, these two freedoms offer different but equally empowering opportunities.

Low self-esteem can create patterns of behaviour that sabotage relationships, making it difficult to experience healthy love and connection. In this article, I’ll explore ten common mistakes people with low self-esteem make in relationships and offer two journal prompts with each to foster healing and self-awareness.

Abuse is not always obvious, especially in intimate relationships where manipulation and emotional tactics are often at play. To break free from the confusion that abuse creates, it can be helpful to understand what drives the abuser's actions. At their core, many abusive behaviours stem from three fundamental needs: the need to feed their ego, the need to feed their narcissism, and the need to maintain control. Recognising these needs in your partner’s behaviour can offer clarity and help you realise that what you are experiencing is not love—it is abuse.

In the journey of life, we absorb ideas, beliefs, and behaviours from the people and environments we encounter. But not all of these influences serve us well. Some subtly creep in, shaping the way we view ourselves, others, and the world. Over time, these negative influences can become heavy burdens, quietly driving decisions and reinforcing unhelpful patterns. The question we must ask ourselves is: Are we intentionally living life on our terms, or are we letting negative influences shape the path we walk?